It’s like, 90 degrees in my kitchen. I have brick walls and no central air, gas stoves and no A.C. unit. It’s miserable to cook in, but I’m a true believer that if you can’t stand the heat, get out of your clothes. Dawn loves to cook, but I wouldn’t eat off her table.

Dawn says, “Inferno!”

Ingredients:

An apron

A kitchen table, sans tablecloth

*or countertop

A hairnet

Recipe:

1.)    The only necessary ingredient for a smokey kitchen, is a kitchen table. Not any table will do though. Make sure the height is right, by measuring your tabletop against your pelvis. Now try to estimate your lover’s height, and measure the table’s height against his estimated groin. His pelvis should be about 2-3 inches taller than the table.

2.)    Now you can choose to wear a hairnet, or not, but an apron is definitely a must. Dawn suggests shopping for a sexy apron at your local vintage shop. Classic aprons tend to be more glamorous than modern styles.

3.)    Set up a time for dinner. Have it ready by the time he gets home, or kick him out of the kitchen until you’re done cooking. Wear nothing under your apron, and rock your hairnet. Don’t let him see that you are nude under your frock. To avoid divulging too much, seat yourself at the table before he arrives.

4.)    After both of you are finished eating, ask him to do the dishes. If he doesn’t agree to do them after you’ve made such a delicious meal,  take your vibrator and go to the bathroom.

5.)    If he’s a gentleman, he will start to collect the dishes and take them to the sink. Once the table is clear, and while he’s rinsing, stand up and bend over the table. Rip out your hairnet and let your locks flow. Rest your stomach and chest on the tabletop, letting your bare bottom stick out. Tell him you need help wiping down the table.

6.)    This is a nice variation on the classic doggy-style position, because both parties can be completely sturdy. Your body is at the perfect height for him to pump away comfortably, while you can rest your body and enjoy his grunt work.  You can even grip the edge of the table for added stability.

7.)    The kitchen table is also good for a semi-missionary position, that is both flattering and satisfying. Rest your back on the table, and scoot your butt to the edge. From here, your hottie can thrust away while admiring your body. Because you are completely horizontal on a flat surface, your stomach will look flat. This recipe is definitely an all-around favorite.