Q: Are you ever turned on when you give lap dances?

Asia: Yes. Well, if it’s a hot guy, yeah. If it’s a cute guy, that if I had met anywhere else, I’d want to do [him], yes. I’d personally hump him better than I would an old guy.

Susan: You know, sometimes when you rub two sticks together you’re going to make a fire. Seriously, it’s not like you go in looking for it, but sometimes, with all that rubbing… I’ve given a lap dance and had an orgasm.

Jordan: With me, he better be hot.

Q: Assuming your boyfriend/girlfriend knows that you dance, do you ever lie to your significant other about any aspect of your job?

Asia: Oh yeah. Nothing too bad, I just tell him they [the customers] aren’t allowed to touch me…that I make them sit on their hands.

Jordan: No, I tell my man everything… everything he wants to know.

Susan: All the time! I don’t tell them anything about my job. Just, ‘I made good money today.’

Q: Do you socialize with other dancers outside of the club?

Jordan: No. I like to separate work from my personal life, but I do have great friends in the club.

Asia: Yes, and I want to more. I want to be friends with all of them, and I want them to love me, and not see me as the “new” girl…

That’s the spirit! Idolize the crazy!

Susan: I hate all of these cunts. (laughs) No, yea I do hang out with some. Very few. There is a few select group that I do socialize with outside of the club.

Q: What is the most money you’ve ever made, and how long was the shift?

Asia: Probably 700 dollars, and it was for four hours.

Jordan: I’ve done a lot of parties… so the most I’ve ever made was like 900 dollars, for like three or four hours. It was a private party at the Marriott, for some football player, or something… a friend of mine planned it. She got herself a nice booking fee… Everyone wanted her to eat my pussy. Everyone threw down like, 5 dollars to see it, but I was not down with that…

Susan: The most I’ve ever made was 1400 dollars and it was in four hours.

Q: What is the least amount of money you ever made, and how long was the shift?

Asia: Like 7 dollars after pay-out, so really I made 27…

Jordan: One night I came in here from like 11 to 2 at night, and I left out of here with like, 7 bucks. And at the time I was living in a different county, so it didn’t even cover my gas!

Susan: 7 dollars. It was at least a four-hour shift, might have been a double.

Q:Have you ever gotten in a physical or verbal fight with another girl? If so, what was it over?

Jordan: I had a tiff with Susan, but whatever. The first time, it was no problem. I threw her two dollars, but the second time I gave her some dollars, I pulled the back of her top open to give her some money, and she slapped my hand away. I said, “Do you know me, to be putting your hands on me like that?” And then she got off the stage, and I guess, she went and told someone I was drunk, because no one would serve me for the rest of the night. (Jordan frowns). But I’m smarter than her, and I know it’s money over bitches.

Asia: Like in my life? Not here, no. I get along with everyone…

Riiiight

Susan: Honey, you don’t have enough time on that tape recorder to have that discussion… Usually it’s just stupid girls. The latest one involves a dancer from the Moon*, whose boyfriend comes over here… I just introduced myself, and said, “hey, I know your girlfriend,” and now I’m getting calls about how I’m a drag queen…. I have like six girls from the Moon getting on her phone and saying shit to me. It’s like, whatever. I don’t have time for you.

Appropriately, while I am recording Susan and Asia’s responses to this question, Tony comes barging into the dressing room ranting about “fucking a bitch up.” Asia whispers, “turn up your recorder.” Monet doesn’t seem to notice.

Q: Who are you talking about?

Tony: I think you guys know who I’m talking about.

In fact, the whole dressing room knows exactly who she is talking about. Monet’s notorious nemesis, (we shall refer to her as Sandy), has recently started dating, and living with, one of Tony’s best friends. To make matters worse, she has recently cheated on him. All in the span of two weeks.

Tony: I will fuck her up, know what I mean? First of all, stop leaving with customers. Second of all, don’t leech off my friends, cuz I’ll find out. I will fuck her up. Fucking coke whore….I want to be like, ‘meet me in the parking lot!’

For a few minutes, Tony rambles inaudibly. Other girls chime in with different stories of Sandy’s confrontational nature, and absolute inability to choose her enemies wisely. I am standing in a room of veteran dancers and, shockingly, they hate the new girl! I can’t help but to reflect on my journey to this moment, and wonder how I survived working with so much estrogen… Oh yeah, I kept my mouth shut for the first six months.

Susan: One of my customers said Sandy claims she’s the best dancer in here… I mean, I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you, and I can’t even claim to be the best dancer in here, but I am so much better than you!

Tony: Maybe what she thinks is a better dancer includes having trains run on you, leaving with customers, and doing god-knows-what… Ugh Icky.

* a club with celestial bodies, not the celestial body