“Where’s our bailout money?”, was the call of a combined group of representatives from adult entertainment icons Hustler magazine and “Girls Gone Wild”. The raucous bunch assembled on the steps of the Treasury Department in Washington, D.C. to make their voices heard. The announcement earlier that day that Citicorp and Bank of America had gotten a second round of bailout money did not sit well with the gathering.

“Girls Gone Wild” spokesperson Imma Shlut voiced opposition to the second round of bailout money to the big banks, “Our industry is one of the oldest known to man, if not the oldest. Forms of adult entertainment have been around since before the advent of the written word. We think it is essential for the government to send some money our way. People have less money to spend nowadays and we are not getting our fair share. We need help.”

Dick Longa, Hustler spokesman, echoed those sentiments, “Our organization is seeing unprecedented pressure in the area of revenue. We are a vital and ongoing concern in the adult entertainment industry, which many people don’t want to admit, but nonetheless enjoy and support. We feel, like “Girls Gone Wild”, that we are being discriminated against in the area of Federal help.Why do banks and other companies get this money and we don’t even get considered?”

When asked what the purpose of their demonstration was at the Treasury Department both groups answered that they were going to protest until they came away with some type of funding.

Another “Girls Gone Wild” representative, She’s a Ho, chimed in, “This may not be the way to traditional funding, but we are in rough times and we all have to pull together. Like my distant cousin, Don Ho, used to say, ‘Lili locka luni lolla licki loni way’, which in Hawaiian means Obama is the President and we are going to get some money.”

These two groups were eventually joined by a third gang from Iowa, also in Washington to ask for bailout funds. The Iowa group, who calls themselves, Gang Green, for the green thongs and pasties they wear, made it clear they needed funding in the worst way. Spokeswoman Luce Booty explained, “The federal government has always had a large presence in Iowa. They give money to corn farmers and pig farmers all the time. As of late all the money going to Iowa is for farmers to plant corn for ethanol. And we want to let Washington know there are more than corn farmers in Iowa. There are productive and tax paying girls like us who demand a part of this action. And we won’t leave until we get our hands on some money or someone’s neck.”

Gang Green group member, Wild Girl, wanted to try and different approach. She said, “If I could have just an hour or so with the money people I am sure I could persuade them to give me some money for our group. After all, I have five sugar daddies back in Iowa, but not as big as the government!”